Did you know that according to the experts in the area, 90% of top performers also have high emotional intelligence?  In other words, people who succeed are those who are the best at building connections with others.

That’s essentially what emotional intelligence is - the ability to engage with other people on so many levels. All the best leaders have emotional intelligence (which is also known more familiarly as ‘people skills’). If you want to succeed in life, it’s super important that you know how to build a connection with people, too.

It doesn’t matter what area you’re focused on succeeding in at the moment. Whether you want to be more successful in relationships, at work, or elsewhere in life, it’s important that you know how to connect with people on an emotional plane.

Human beings are naturally social animals who need contact with other people. You like to be understood just as much as the person you’re talking to wants you and others to understand them. And the more you understand people, the more success you will have in so many areas in your life.

In our digital age, there are more ways to build connections with other people than ever before. No longer limited to face-to-face contact, we have a magical little device known as the smartphone. This gives you power on an unprecedented scale to make important connections with people you love, like, work with, or who you’d just like to get to know a bit more.

And the bigger your network is, the greater your chances of success in the future.

Let’s take a look at a few ways in which you can build a connection with someone via text.

Be Genuine

If you offer someone a compliment via text, you absolutely must mean it. Believe it or not, it’s really easy to see through a facade. If you’re not being authentic with what you text, the other person will call you out almost instantly.

If you’re only in this for yourself, stop texting. That’s it. Only text the people you genuinely want to build a relationship with.

Offer Your Help

It doesn’t matter whether you’re texting a work colleague, someone you met at a recent networking event, or a love interest, you should always offer your services.

It’s impossible to build a solid relationship with someone if all you’re thinking is “what have they got to offer me?”

Instead, you need to have something that you can offer them.

Reach out to people without expecting anything in return. Share your abilities with them. Offer to help with their goals.

Pay Attention

It won’t be easy to retain someone’s attention if you don’t pay attention. Not paying any attention to what they’re saying means the conversation is always going to be about your wants. In other words, it’s going to be incredibly one-sided.

Just like you need to listen to your partner in a relationship, you need to “listen” to someone via text. Understand what they’re saying, take notes of what they’ve said and show them that you’re paying attention.

People love it when you surprise them a few weeks later because you remember something they once said in a text.

This also works with more formal communication too; any potential customer or client likes to feel special. Listen to their feedback and your work will improve.

Don’t Text Too Much

What is the surest way to damage relations with anyone via text? Texting them too much.

There is a certain etiquette to be employed when you’re texting someone, especially an individual whom you genuinely want to make a connection with. If they haven’t responded for an hour or two, don’t assume that they’re ignoring you or that they didn’t receive the message. Instead, remember that people live busy lives and they just haven’t got around to responding to you just yet.

Refrain from over-texting them before they respond to your initial text. Give them some time.

And on the off chance that a person is purposely ignoring you, they’re not exactly the kind of person you want to make a connection with anyway, right?

Be Mindful of Your (And Their) Tone

One of the reasons some people dislike texting is because it can often be hard to decipher someone’s tone.

“Is he angry with me?” you might ask when his tone seems a bit different today.

As a consequence of this, it can be tempting to ask them if you’ve annoyed them. You need to refrain from doing this as much as possible, because a) it’s unlikely that you’ve annoyed them, and b) people hate being asked if they’ve been annoyed by us.

You also need to be very mindful of your own tone. Pay attention to your language and phrasings. If a draft text message is looking too serious, consider adding an emoji to lighten the tone.

Also, not everyone is going to understand your sense of humor as soon as you start texting them. As such, it’s probably a good idea to build your personality up as you go along, rather than getting all sarcastic straight away. A cheeky wink face might be something you include in your texts all the time, but sending it out in your first text to a new contact might not go down so well.

Try these tips the next time you’re trying to connect with someone. The connection you’re making is worth the effort.